Dark Sarcasm in the Classroom

This is how Republicans work, as illustrated by a news article in the Houston Chronicle:

Former first lady Barbara Bush donated an undisclosed amount of money to the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund with specific instructions that the money be spent with an educational software company owned by her son Neil.

So Babs donates money to a charity overseen by her husband for which she'll surely want some tax relief, which allows her to make a for-profit investment that counts as charitable giving. This money goes through channels to the Houston Independent School District, with the stipulation that the money be spent on a product that financially benefits her own son. The educational software is a program called "Curriculum on Wheels" (or, um, COW), produced by Neil Bush's company Ignite Learning.

I know there are many Katrina-displaced families in Houston -- Babs, you may remember, found it "scary" that "these people" might want to stay there -- and that some of these families will have children at Houston public schools, and that there must be resources allocated for teaching an enlarged population of school kids. Still, "educational software" is not the first place I imagine my money going when I donate to flood relief.

Back to the Chronicle:

In February 2004, the Houston school board unanimously agreed to accept $115,000 in charitable donations from businesses and individuals who insisted the money be spent on Ignite. The money covered half the bill for the software, which cost $10,000 per school.

Of course, Neil Bush and company were instrumental in raising these donations, given to the Houston Independent School District, who then spent the money on Neil's product.

What do these COWs do? Pardon the Chronicle's bizarre syntax as they explain:

The free-standing instructional tools that are not dependent on the Internet. They include a built-in computer, projector and speakers and come pre-loaded with science and social studies courses.

You can tour the COW by going to Ignite's website, but it's essentially a purple plastic filmstrip projector. Imagine $230,000 worth of that crap -- half of it out of the Texas taxpayer's pockets -- on top of whatever they've raised through Katrina Relief donations by warm-hearted lizards like Babs. I would presume that you could give a Katrina-affected family an apartment for a year for the cost of one school's COWs.

(Above Left: Flood Relief)

Note that these COWS teach science and social studies, and we all know how much Texas Republicans can tell us about things like dinosaurs and civics! Just think of the amount of information that must just be positively stuffed into that 1' x 1' box of purpleness: sex education, indigenous Americans, making the world safe for capitalism. Why, probably all the things that will show up on your next No Child Left Behind (tm) Standardized Test! You may never spend money on teachers or books ever again!

I'm sorry, I'm sure it's a fine and effective program, but it's just that... I'm sorry, Chronicle, what were you saying?

Information about the effectiveness of the program, through district-generated reports, was not readily available Wednesday, according to an HISD spokeswoman.

Oh. So there's no data that these quater-mill spawn-of-Barney boxes work? Or if there is data, it's not available for the press? Let me ask this of Ignite Learning: in the little cartoon illustration that accompanies the slide dealing with Isaac Newton, how far does the apple fall from the tree?

Alternate posting title: Cronyism is Genetic.