Cater-Wampus!

According to the Journal-Sentinel, "Wisconsin is at the epicenter of a linguistic collision"*. According to the article, we're stuck between the oncoming waves of two linguisitc forces, such that there is:

a change coming at us from the Southeast, the so-called Northern Cities Shift in which "aa" and "eh" sounds are being reversed.

This change, however, is moving head-on toward another vowel change coming from the West, the so-called Low-Back Merger. In this second change, words such as "caught" are being pronounced increasingly like the word "cot."

I say to the Northern Cities Shift: "Bring it on!" We of the Low-Back Merger shall meet you on the field of battle, no quarter given! I've got my leather jacket and my switchblade, and I am fully prepared to breakdance/fight in defense of Low-Back turf. Once you're a Low-Back, you're a Low-Back all the way/ From your first glottal shift to your flat "A"-as-in-"weigh."

Want more linguistics? Chicago and Rochester share an accent, according to the New York Times. I don't buy it -- I hear Rochestertarians say "downtown" whereas Chicagoans say "dawntawn." The New York Times: wrong on regional accents, wrong for America.

A sidebar to the Times article reminds us that we say "bubbler" down here in 'Sconie, doncha know. Their glossary also lists:

KITTY-WAMPUS: Cater-corner in Wisconsin.

Huh? Not only do I know of no one who says -- or would dare say -- "Kitty-wampus," I don't know anyone who says "cater-corner." Maybe they mean "kitty corner"?

Bubbler, by the way, is like Dumpster and Kleenex, a registered trademark, as it is the name of a product developed by the Kohler company in 1888. Some people in Massachussets and Rhode Island also refer to "water fountains"as "bubblers, " as do people of New South Wales, Australia.

Finally: pop vs. soda. I'm a soda sayer. In Iowa, a grocer once asked me if I wanted my pop in a sack so I socked him in the kisser.

* I remain unsure whether it's accurate to say that a collision has an epicenter. Epicenters are focal points which involve, to my mind, a movement away from the center, as in earthquakes. Collisions involve the coming-toghether of forces, although the impact of collision could radiate outwards again. I'll get back to you on this...