To Save All Our Lives You've Got To Envision The Fiery Crash

Cate emailed to say that, according to a Brown University professor, there is a 1 in 8 chance of Palin being president if McCain were to win the election, and then later Al claimed that in a second term this would rise to a 2 in 3 chance.

Now, many of you know that I sometimes receive messages from "alternate timelines," either due to my interest in dystopic literature or, more likely, too many issues of X-Men. At any rate, the following was delivered unto me from an alternate futre through the transmoidic aether, and I thought I'd share:

:transmitting:

The 2011 State of the Union Address:
The Chamber of the United States House of Representatives
United States Capitol
January 26, 2011

THE PRESIDENT:
Speaker Bayh, Vice President Pahlosi, Members of Congress also, stinguished guests, and, too, fellow citizens:

It's been goin' on seven weeks now since our great Commander in Chief John McCain was laid to, y'know, but we've had to soldier on without him, doggone it. Since that time, our country has faced challenges that, too, weren't expected and also, the economy and jobs fallin' into the pooper. There were hard decisions that we had to decide on whether to face or what, and goin' forward, we've got to -- as the American people -- agree that we are not gonna blink. Sure, we all shed tears for President McCain when he had that anger-based subhematomah and whatnot, and sure, that involved rapidly closin' of eye-lids in order to produce tears, but that's not what I'm talkin' about when I'm talkin' about blinkin'. Too, it's been -- hey, ya know, someone told me this thing I'm standin' in front of, it's called a 'rostrum.' I always thought it was a 'dais.' Am I pronouncin't that right? "Day-Ass?" Maybe we'll call it a podium. (Winks)

And so what does Putin do but he pokes his little head into our airspace, and yeah, so perhaps so, we're suddenly havin' a war with Russia. Now, I don't want to say "I tolja so," but... Charlie, Katie, I tolja so.

But ya put that Russia effort up on top of our efforts in Irag and Afghanstan, and the bombin' campaigns my predahcessor started with Iran and that other country I can't think of the name of right now. I want to say China, but I know it's not China. It's like a Ch- sound. Ch-, or Kuh--. Kuh. (Shrugs) Anywho, there's a whole lot going on, ya know. But here's the kicker: I'm just the gal for the job.

Now, you all have met my family many times -- Todd, Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, and my adoring grandkids also: Weevil, Cosine, Lil' Maverick, and Wink. (Winks.) And you know like they know, too, that --

North Korea! I knew it would come to me if I just got my mind on somethin' else, ya know?

Because, too, the economy is prolly gonna turn around -- ya know, at long last -- any second now, once we get more of those tax cuts and whatnot pushed through Congress and also it's really been great to get to know Vice President Pahlosi, particularly after she pointed out that there's stuff about the chain of succession right there in the Constitution too. I know some of you are upset that I had appointed Todd to be vice president for those couple of days right after we, you know, lost the previous server of the office holder of this job position, but now that you've done all your censuring and holding up the founding documents and whatnot, I hope we can put all that junk behind me...

:end transmission:

(Also, see also: http://www.palinaspresident.com/)