"A census taker once tried to test me..."

In our continuing coverage of Keith Richards, we'd like to make note of Keith's clarification today he did not, in fact, snort cociane mixed with his father's ashes. Keith explains:

“The cocaine bit was rubbish,” says “Keef”, who is penning his autobiog­raphy. “I said I chopped him up like cocaine, not with. I’d opened his box up and said, ‘Jesus, I’ve got to do something with dad, y’know, plant the oak tree.’“I pulled the lid off and out comes a bit of dad on the dining room table. I’m going, ‘I can’t use the brush and dustpan for this’. So you just gotta like, put it together. “What I found out is that ingesting your ancestors is a very respectable way of… y’know, he went down a treat.”

See? Snorting dad like cocaine = "very respectable." Because mixing the coke with dad's ashes, that would be insane. Or at least less respectable.

As for his own demise, hellraising Keith – who was recently told he had “perfect” liver, heart and kidneys by shocked doctors – hasn’t given it much consideration.

Keith then enjoyed them -- the liver, heart, kidneys, and shocked doctors -- with fava beans and a nice Chianti.