An Open Letter to Ketih Olbermann

Dear Keith:

Do you know about the principles of ethos, logos, and pathos in classical rhetoric? They have, like, something to do with credibility, and I'm sorry to say, sir, that last night you really screwed the pooch on one of them. Ethos, I'm pretty sure. Now, I've been a big fan of yours since the first time you quit MSNBC in protest, so I'm sticking with you, but not without first airing my beef.

Last night you seemed to say something negative and untoward about "Jeremy Piven's agent character" on the HBO comedy show, "Entourage." I tried to check your online transcript, but someone -- no doubt in an attempt to "gloss over" your anti-Piven stance -- has replaced the "Countdown" transcript with one in which Chris Matthews calls New York "our nation's capitol." See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14135310/, particularly towards the bottom.

If only Matthew's statement were the most outrageous misapprehension of available facts to be found on your network last night! I mean, mislocating our center of government is one thing, but "dissing the Pivs" is quite another. QUITE another.

The reason that "Entourage" revolves around Piven's character is plain, unmistakable, and awesome. Pivs is our culture's pre-eminent phone thrower, and therefore a space has been carved out on premium cable for him to engage in the throwing of phones. Yes, this comes with a lot of swearing, head bobs, and full-fingered gesticulating, but all of this is clearly in the service of his phone throwing. I, for one, wish that "Entourage" revolved even, umm, revolvier around Piven and his phone(s), though I'd hate to lose any of the hot waitresses and video game-playing drama of the rest of the show.

Do you hate Pivs the phone thrower because he engages in activity too similar to your own throwing of crumpled-up bits of news script? Freud said such hatred was based upon the "Narcissism of the Subtle Difference," suggesting that we resent that which makes us feel less unique. I'm here to tell you, Olbs, that both you and Pivs are awesome, and the world is big enough to contain you both. With so much hatred and war in the world, you and Pivs should work to recognize (though not necessarily "resolve") your differences. Cherish each other. Perhaps, in teaching Pivs to throw crumpled paper, you may yourself learn to throw phones.

Yours,
townblog
Milwaukee, WI