Dear Sam and Caleb: Remember me?
I'm a banana. I'm yellow and grow in bunches in the tropics. I've got mass appeal. (Puns, by the way, are the highest form of banana humor.)
You used to request me all the time, for snacks and for breakfast, until the day you learned -- both of you at once, apparantly -- the word "yogurt." Now I overripen on the kitchen counter until I'm tossed into the garbage or baked into bread.
While I advocate a balanced diet, I would like to remind you that I have a more manageable wrapper for smallish hands, that I (unlike a container of, say, Yoplait) make a fine imitation telephone, and I feature into music and culture much more frequently. Also, as demonstrated on Sesame Street that one time, I'm a great metaphor for the need for community in child-rearing. Finally, Harry Belafonte is unlikely to ever record something called "The Yogurt Boat Song," to say nothing of Stan Freberg.
Won't you consider me next time you ask for a snack?
I'd be happy to consider any counter arguments you may have, although I should warn you ahead of time that I may not be able to hear you due to the banana in my ears.
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2 comments:
A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are known as fingers.
As bananas ripen, the starch in the fruit turns to sugar. Therefore, the riper the banana the sweeter it will taste.
Banana plants are the largest plants on earth without a woody stem. They are actually giant herbs of the same family as lilies, orchids and palms.
Bananas are one of the few fruits that ripen best off the plant. If left on the plant, the fruit splits open and the pulp has a "cottony" texture and flavor. Even in tropical growing areas, bananas for domestic consumption are cut green and stored in moist shady places to ripen slowly.
Bananas have no fat, cholesterol or sodium.
In 2001, there were more than 300 banana-related accidents in Britain, most involving people slipping on skins.
Some horticulturists suspect that the banana was the earth's first fruit. Banana plants have been in cultivation since the time of recorded history. One of the first records of bananas dates back to Alexander the Great's conquest of India where he first discovered bananas in 327 B.C.
There is no such thing as a banana tree. Bananas grow on plants. Harry Belafonte is a rumor monger and a liar.
PS: Don't be throwing puns idly out, lest you start a new round of pun-nic wars.
Joel, I seriously have no idea how Erin puts up with you.
You've got to be nuts to know so much about bananas.
Or have a high speed internet connection, one.
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